My journey into outpatient ortho physical therapy started when I was 16 years old. There I was, sitting on the doctor’s exam table. I was feeling destined for another 4 weeks in "the boot," due to a cross-country running injury.
My doctor came back into the room and reported back to my mother and me, “Well, Sara, based on your bone scan, your foot stress fracture looks healed...” (internal angels singing) “...But, I’m sorry to tell you, you are going to need knee surgery.” (Enter complete and utter shock).
“Knee surgery?!” I repeated.
Of course, at this point I was only in high school, and knew little professionally about the human body, but my common sense sirens were wailing off the charts, and I was thinking:
- My knee was not even hurting
- I had CIF cross country championships approaching and was #1 runner on my team at that time
- Was the doctor even in the right room?!
I felt dumbfounded, confused and pressured into making a decision towards knee surgery without even knowing the cause or, worse yet, the recovery time.
At the time, all I knew was that I wanted to keep running.
At 16 years old, I felt like time out for 2 months was like the end of my athletic career, the end of my reputation, and, realistically (enter high-pitched teenage freak-out voice), the END OF MY LIFE! After 20 minutes of questioning, I gave into the recommendation and waved my white flag of surrender, as my mom rubbed my back to comfort me.
I was going to have surgery.
After the operation, I walked into my post-op physical therapy clinic, which specialized in treating children, and met the therapist who would show me what a physical therapist does (and introduce me to the career with which I would soon fall in love). I learned a lot about the body, my body, and felt that was such a valuable investment of time and learning.
Flash-forward a year and it was like I was eating those roadblocks for breakfast - I was an accomplishment machine.
My list of accolades was extensively growing to the point they almost became addictive.
- High school AP classes
- Early acceptance into San Diego State University at 17 years old
- Div. I collegiate cross country/ track at SDSU
- Admission into University of St. Augustine's physical therapy doctorate program at 21 years old
- Postdoctoral three-time Ironman athlete.
I had found a career in physical therapy that was 100% me and made me feel alive.
Progression through my entry-level PT life was fast, and it was focused.
I had been blessed to find an outpatient clinic that reflected my values and interests, and I thrived in the environment for 5 years.
Although my $100,000 student loans were paid off via also undertaking a per diem job on weekends, I found myself focusing more on operation efficiency and productivity, rather than learning and growing (with the end goal of getting the financial monkey off my back). My work was becoming routine and I knew I needed change.
I needed BIG change.
I was well-studied and athletically endowed, but felt emptiness that the lack in my work/life balance had only allowed me to partially reach my life goals. I just turned 31 years old, and I was learning the true power of introspection and its sometimes-ugly face roaring back, “Think about your future, lady!”
With that aha moment, a light bulb went off that made me realize I had not made extensive ground on building a quality relationship with a partner, a future family or a future home. My short-term goals were being met, but there wasn’t a realistic link from them to my long-term goals in the way I envisioned them. I was in an outpatient setting where professional growth was usually self-driven, and opportunities for growth from a hierarchical standpoint within the company were slim, considering there had been a good following of managers keeping their positions long-term.
I had realized that this must have been a ‘well, that’s life moment,’ where the hardest decisions come with the most self-analysis and steadfast trust that the future can hold dreams not even dreamt. I had gained so much at the company I was with, but it was just time to move on in this stage in my career.
My physical therapy career was starting to feel like a game of Chutes and Ladders.
Although working in this outpatient ortho physical therapy clinic was the most meaningful, education-dense experience thus far in my life, it was likely not the ladder that was going to get me to the top of my game. I learned so many valuable lessons about clinical practice, marketing, interpersonal skills among teammates and working with the public that I will be forever grateful. I cherish those experiences and use them to propel me into the future version of what I call “Sara Unstoppable.”
I did struggle with finding the strength and courage to move forward, because I was crippled with several thought patterns:
- Fear of what others would think. I had built good relationships and knew I had valuable skills to contribute to my team, but I was insecure of what hit my reputation would take.
- Shame of being unemployed without a plan. My support team was the very team I was leaving. My friends at work were around me even more than my own family. I felt defiant, financially irresponsible and lost without a plan.
- Feeling too busy for change. I had a new 4 month old niece; my parents and grandparents were aging with rising health concerns; I was training for my 1st ultra marathon; I wanted to finally take the CSCS and MTC tests, which cost money I didn’t have.
I took these same struggles and re-worded them to remove their negative power and give me positive energy:
- I stared FEAR straight in the eyes. Since my relationships at work were genuine, I knew I could rely on those who looked out for my best interest even through an employment change would ensue.
- I sat with myself and knew I was a CONFIDENT person and had nothing to be shameful about. I realized my family was my most important support team and those ties have become stronger.
- I was too Busy NOT to change. I now help care for my 4 month old niece once-a-week; I see ‘average’ as acceptable while training for 1st ultra marathon; I turned ‘wanting and worrying’ about taking certifications exams into actually paying and signing up for them to allow me to focus on their completion.
After rediscovering and redefining myself, I felt a sense of relief.
I was becoming more me and less what the clinic, and all the patient expectations, were driving me to be.
I have been able to move from setting to setting in patient care by holding true to my value of loving the evolution of mankind and helping people. I am currently working per diem in an acute care setting, but also keeping my options wide open for unique employment opportunities that reflect my values and reflect my need for personal space. My free time is being used to work on my relationships, spend time with my family, and overall reignite my passion for patient care.
I want the same for you.
Here are a couple tips on how to fine-tune yourself as a practitioner, to help find a sense of peace:
- Stop being perfect and start being authentic.
- Constantly re-assess and recalibrate yourself and your position, just like we do with our patients.
- Let creativity drive what gives you true joy in your work to find what makes you click.
- Ask an old friend or family member to speak candidly about your career move.
- Do a values assessment to understand what truly makes you tick as a clinician. Use the results of this values assessment to look for jobs that will reflect these values.
- Know what makes you click as a practitioner and as a person. Is it intimate co-worker friendships? Is it engagement in community events? Is it having your name displayed on the front windows of the clinic practice? This will allow your work to feel less like work and feel more aligned with your own values.
What I learned from this is that there is no rush to find the perfect job, just to please others or fit a certain mold that is expected of an orthopedic physical therapists. I need to find the right job for what I want out of life. And I'm OK with that being a living, breathing process. I'm enjoying the path as I find out what that is.
Along my path, I spoke at length with the team at www.covalentcareers.com. They were the first staffing company who truly worked to understand what makes me tick as a human, rather than seeing me as a warm body to fill a slot at a company. And a friend of mine from www.NewGradPhysicalTherapy.com encouraged me to write my story down, as a way to reflect on how far I've come professionally. So that's what I've done. I hope you have enjoyed my story!
There are many more lives to help out there in the context of my next career chapter...this is just another roadblock I will have to hurdle, pole-vault or cartwheel over in the sport I call Life.